RELAPSE

I feel myself falling

Deep down within the restraints of my mind

The darkest parts of my memories

And the loneliest place of my existence

I feel myself falling

Depression taking over my entire being

Drowning me in its tidal wave of overwhelming doubt

And shame

I feel myself falling

Mood swings making it difficult to function

Scaring people away with my unpredictability

My extreme irrational anger

And my bottomless despair

I feel myself falling

As the harsh words crash down on me

The avalanche of insults and blame crushing my world

Destroying the walls built to protect my well-being

I feel nothing

Nothing at all

As my emotions blur into numbness

I feel myself growing

My darkened state begins to walk towards the light

Slowly

And carefully

Not to disturb the monster that rests in the back of my mind

I feel myself growing

The once extreme anger turning into something so beautiful

My saddest days now appearing as faint memories

As I feel the weight lift off of my shoulders

I feel myself growing

Into something no one can tear down

Strong

Beautiful

Confident

I feel myself growing

Slowly moving towards the brightness that is my future

I feel everything

Everything at once

As I take a look around me

And breathe